Music.

Back again! Two posts in as many months... got to be a record!

I've really been gettting back into music recently. Whether it be stuff my Mum used to play on Sunday mornings when I was a young'un, or personal guilty pleasures, it has all been on my aural menu of recent weeks.

From Simon and Garfunkel, Mamas and Papas, Elvis Costello and David Bowie, to The Smiths, The Stone Roses, Ladyhawke, White Lies, and countless others.

I know I'm not being profound when I say how music has such an effect on (nearly) every human being the world over, however, I really do feel a deep connection to music. To be supremely cliche about it; music can make me truely elated, and it can make cry. A recent case has to be watching this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iad-A7-yxys, now Bill doesnt have the most perfect voice, but the atmosphere this song created, made my skin tingle, and my eyes to well up. The song that gets me most though, is this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzZQJZdcCU4, I was listening to this song on the bus, with my headphones on. As the song reaches its climax: a simple high pitched voice, the drums rise, a beautiful yet simple guitar twangs, and Keles (the lead singer) voice pierces through. On this one day, this particular journey, I had tears of pure happiness rolling down my cheeks, and a huge grin on my face.

Music is a major part of my life, yet I do not give it the time, or effort it deserves.

There is one thing I do wish I could do more of, and that is create music. I can play Guitar, and Bass relatively well, and if my confidence was a bit higher I'd probably even be bold enough to say I can sing half-decent too! But, unlike many people who I know, there is something that stops me. Probably a self-concious, or self-image issue there, but it still frustrates me. I think I am too hung up on trying to be 'cool', or I am concerned that if I do make an attempt it won't be good enough and I will embarass myself.
When I think about these things, I realise how silly it all is, and the main reason for the existance of music, let alone the personal interaction with it, is for fun!

These guys are my beacon, my glimmer of hope. They, from what I gather (correct me if I'm wrong!) are mainly into this for the fun, and they can write a bloody good riff too! They are personal friends of mine who I look to to remind myself about having fun, and not caring about what people think. www.myspace.com/zstacks Check out Toffee Hammer!

It's time to move forward... and as my last post said, I must try and work through the things stopping me doing what I want to do. I'll have to get out my guitars, give them a dust off, and get creative! If anyone fancies a jam session, let me know, and we'll see what happens!

Matt

Where to begin?

Hello Everyone,
I have finally returned to my blog, will it last this time? You will have to keep reading and leave me lots of lovely comments to find out!

I've never had the staying power for a blog, maybe it is laziness, but when I really think about it, what holds me back is the fear that I am not interesting enough of a person to hold an audiences attention, or my ideas aren't articulate or well informed enough to impress my peers and/or readers. On top of all this there is the fear of appearing self absorbed, or narcissistic.

Ultimately, it is a question of self-confidence, why do I not feel as important or as interesting as my peers? What is it that holds me back, and keeps me withdrawn?

I could ask this question of myself in relation to lots of things, but most of all, why do I not have the drive, and ambition to achieve more than what I have for myself right now? Fear of Failure? Fear of the unknown?

There are many ways in which I am a confident person, but like most people (I imagine) there are many ways in which I am incredibly self-conscious, and maybe this blog is what I need to help me win some of that confidence back. Immersion therapy, if you will.

Well, in what is my first post in years, I seem to have blurted out an awful lot which I didnt intend to... even now I am reading it back and considering removing it all and starting again... but I will leave it all there, Warts and all... after all, isn't that what a blog is all about?

Until next time,
Sykes