Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Where to begin?

Hello Everyone,
I have finally returned to my blog, will it last this time? You will have to keep reading and leave me lots of lovely comments to find out!

I've never had the staying power for a blog, maybe it is laziness, but when I really think about it, what holds me back is the fear that I am not interesting enough of a person to hold an audiences attention, or my ideas aren't articulate or well informed enough to impress my peers and/or readers. On top of all this there is the fear of appearing self absorbed, or narcissistic.

Ultimately, it is a question of self-confidence, why do I not feel as important or as interesting as my peers? What is it that holds me back, and keeps me withdrawn?

I could ask this question of myself in relation to lots of things, but most of all, why do I not have the drive, and ambition to achieve more than what I have for myself right now? Fear of Failure? Fear of the unknown?

There are many ways in which I am a confident person, but like most people (I imagine) there are many ways in which I am incredibly self-conscious, and maybe this blog is what I need to help me win some of that confidence back. Immersion therapy, if you will.

Well, in what is my first post in years, I seem to have blurted out an awful lot which I didnt intend to... even now I am reading it back and considering removing it all and starting again... but I will leave it all there, Warts and all... after all, isn't that what a blog is all about?

Until next time,
Sykes

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